"We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve"

  God just keeps showing me over and over again that there is a clear difference between what I would "like" for myself and what He has in mind for me. The problem: I don't feel worthy for what He may have in store for me. 

I have made MANY mistakes and to think that if God has a husband planned for me, then He wants a man for me that is His child and that will try his best to love me as God has loved him.... It's just beyond imaginable. I am undeserving in every way possible. 

"We accept the love we think we deserve". I settle. I continue to "search" for what I know is wrong for me because, in the past, I've been made to feel like I am worth nothing more. I have been wrong.

A VERY wise friend pointed something out to me just last night. We are taught that, and go through the cycle of, "an asset is worth the total price of everything we've paid on it". Jesus Christ was the price for our salvation. "We are valued at the same level of Jesus Christ himself." At this point, when reading the text, I was sobbing. This person has no idea of the personal struggle I am going through and therefore had no idea how much I needed to hear it....God is SO good! 

God's mercy and grace are immeasurable. We can never put it on any kind of scale and say "woop, I see it! Yup, that's how much he loves us." We can say, however, that he loves us just as much as He loves His son. The son who walked for 33 years on this Earth as the ONLY perfect human being. 

Jesus was without sin. 

He made no mistakes. 

He loved as He should and made no exceptions. 

God loves us as much as He loves Jesus.

It makes me want to fall on my knees and weep, and I pretty much have. This life is not my own. I am His and I am here to do His Will. Not mine. Why do I continue to let myself learn that the hard way?? Can I say that I'm done?

"I'M DONE!!!"

I am so tired of letting Satan win. He had me convinced that this was something I needed to handle on my own and that I deserve every last bit of heartache because I'm worthless. Wrong. I am worth so much more to God than I could ever know and I want to reach as close as I can to the capacity of His Will for me. WHATEVER those plans may be.  I will no longer hold myself back and blame it on others or my situations. 

"Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil." (Ephesians 6:11 KJV). 

Who else is with me?